What Just Happened There?
by ReySolo
Summary: Just after Objects in Space, everyone seems to know something about Simon... except Simon. Little bit o’slash, mostly humor.


Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly (except the DVDs, which I just got for Christmas!) or its characters. Gorramit.  
Notes: Little bit o'slash, mostly humor. Takes place just after (and contains major spoilers for) Objects in Space. My first Firefly fic, so please be kind!

What Just Happened There?

Simon listened from the infirmary bed as Inara explained to the crew her intentions. He watched the others' expressions, ranging from confusion (Wash and Jayne) to resigned sadness (Zoe and Book) to betrayal (Kaylee and, to his surprise, River). Mal was the only one who showed no emotion whatsoever to her announcement, and Simon guessed he'd already known. He was sure the captain was more bothered than he let on.

"But you just can't go!" Kaylee shouted. "You're—you're a part of us! Ain't that right, Cap'n? She's part of your crew, how come you ain't doin' nothin'?"

Mal just looked away.

Inara looked sympathetically at the mechanic. "I'm truly sorry, Kaylee. I will miss you deeply. I will miss you all," she added, eyes sweeping the room, "But this is really for the best."

"Ain't the best for me, _tzao-gao!_" Her voice broke on the last word, and she ran out of the infirmary.

"Kaylee!" Inara chased gracefully after her. River followed as well.

"The time comes for us all to chose our own paths," Book intoned, looking pointedly at Mal.

With some additional muttering and confusion, the rest of the crowd eventually filed out of the room, leaving Simon alone with his thoughts.

Not really sure of his feelings regarding this latest news, Simon's mind wandered over the events of the past few days. Almost kissing Kaylee had been a bit of a shock, and he was chagrined at his residual feelings of relief that the Shepherd had interrupted them. He really did like the girl, but—he had a feeling she liked him a hell of a lot more. His few flirtatious moments with her always seemed more for her sake than for his own desires, and he always managed to screw up those conversations, anyway. He tried to ignore the feeling that those situations felt almost the same as when his sister had announced her intentions to wed him.

If only that had been the most disastrous event of the day.

The earlier incident with River and the gun had been infinitely worse. He'd been so terrified, seeing that look on her face, like she didn't even know what she was holding. The captain had said something about her shooting _him_, the only doctor, but all Simon could think about was her turning the weapon on herself. He didn't know what would be worse, River killing herself to escape the horrible things done to her, or River killing herself because she wasn't even aware of where she was or what she was doing.

Of course, the rest of the crew was more concerned about themselves. He knew they had logical points, but despite his normally practical mind, he could not accept any logical propositions that endangered his sister. She was everything he had.

But the worst to come was the hellacious experience with Jubal Early. He didn't think he'd ever get used to having a gun in his face. Just because he would willingly die to keep his sister safe didn't mean he wasn't the least bit scared. The bounty hunter's casual threat of raping Kaylee made matters even worse.

He was only slightly embarrassed that he had fallen for River's elaborate ruse. As mind-bending an idea as it was, if anyone could melt away and fuse with a ship, his sister would be the one to do it. He had been quite relieved to find that wasn't the case, however.

A relief that lasted only a short time as she continued her bluff, saying she'd go with Early. She'd later made fun of him (while at the same time fussing over his injury) for believing her and screwing up the plan. Hey, it wasn't like he'd _wanted_ the bullet wound. She could have gorramn well let him know her plan; after all, she'd managed to get coded messages past the Alliance _tiansha de emo_ who'd messed with her, she could have easily gotten some clue past some sadistic bounty hunter. But no, she had to let him worry, and get a gorramn bullet in his leg, and have a none-too-gentle soldier yank it out of him.

_It was your own fault, but thank you for your well-meaning stupidity anyway._

Simon's eyes widened, and he decided that had just been a figment of his imagination. He was most definitely not ready to deal with the idea of a telepathic sister at the moment.

He'd ignore the laughter that followed that, as well.

His thoughts were finally interrupted when Kaylee reentered the infirmary.

"Hey," she said, not looking entirely happy.

"Hey," he returned cautiously.

"I wanted to tell you that—well, I'm pissed for your part in Inara leavin' us, but I kinda understand, too."

Simon blinked. "What?"

"I mean, t'ain't really yer fault the Cap'n... well, you know. But I do wish you'da told me, 'steada leavin' me thinkin' I had a chance an' all."

Simon blinked. "What?"

"Just reckoned I'd let you know I'm—I'm okay with it, really I am… I just…" Kaylee took a shaky breath in, then turned and fled the room once more.

Simon opened his mouth, but no sound emerged, as he stared nonplussed at the doorway.

Through which Inara promptly emerged, appearing rather angry.

"I—I didn't mean to upset her, she just—"

"Yes, I'm sure you didn't mean any of this." Inara looked coldly at him, but then schooled her features into a more civil expression. "I… I hope it works out for you two."

"Um… thanks?" He stared in confusion as she, too, departed.

As he was attempting to piece together what Kaylee had said into some sort of coherent whole, Zoe came in. "How's the leg?"

Simon shrugged. "Still there." He then added under his breath, "Which is more than I can say for my mind at the moment."

Zoe looked at him oddly, but didn't say anything. She poked at the wound.

"Ow! Could you—could you not do that?"

"Ain't it time to change the bandages again?"

He looked down at the white wrap around his thigh. "No, I think the bleeding's stopped. You did a good job."

She looked at him, gave a wry smile. "Guess I've improved. The Captain wasn't nearly as complementary when I wrapped up his arm during the war."

"I don't think that was you. He's not the best patient when _I_'m the one patching him up, either."

A strange look came across her face, and she opened her mouth, but closed it again.

"What?"

"I just... I've known Mal a long time, been through a lot with him, and I just never expected..."

Simon waited for her to finish, but she just smiled and stood up. "Get better, Doc. Never know when one of us is gonna need you fixin' us up again. I'd rather not do this any more 'n I have to."

As she left, Simon started to think it was everyone else who had gone crazy.

There was a book next to the bed, but he didn't bother to reach for it. He figured he'd wait until the entire crew had had their share of confusing the hell out of him before attempting to relax.

Jayne was next. He didn't come in, however, he merely stood in the doorway, staring. "Man, with Inara it was one thing. But the Captain? Gorramn, I thought it was freaky when he and _Zoe _were gettin' weird. I mean, I ain't all that surprised 'bout _you_, but…" He shook his head and walked off.

Simon still had no idea what was going on, but something in Jayne's ramblings had caused a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Wash entered soon after Jayne had disappeared. "So, uh, you and..."

"Me _and_..." Simon asked, getting rather exasperated at everyone's sudden inability to complete sentences.

"Wait, the captain hasn't talked to you yet, has he?"

"Talked to me about WHAT? What the _gui_ is going on around here?"

"Oh, man, Zoe's gonna kill me for mentioning it now. Forget I said anything, I was never here, right?" He too disappeared before Simon could demand an explanation.

Now Simon was nearly shaking with frustration. He was almost ready to jump up and hunt somebody down, his bloody leg be damned.

When Shepherd Book appeared in the doorway, Simon was on him—figuratively—in an instant. "Well? What le se do you have to contribute to this?" The fact that he had spoken so harshly to a man of God—or not, as Early would have him believe—did not faze him at this point.

"I understand the stress you are under, my son. But you must understand, the Lord is forgiving. Despite what those of other orders believe, I have faith that He is accepting of all manners of love. As long as you act with true fidelity and commitment, such a relationship is not wrong in the eyes of the Lord." He bowed his head, then exited as promptly as the others had.

Love? All manners of...

_Wo de tian a!_

His eyes felt like they would pop out of their sockets, and his heart was racing. All the others' non sequitors, sentence fragments, _fei hua _suddenly made a horrifying amount of sense, in light of the Shepherd's words.

They think...

...that Mal and I are...

When the next person approached, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest, collapsing back in relief as his sister appeared. "River," he sighed. "Can you convince these people that they're operating under a very, _very_ mistaken impression?"

She smiled widely, and bounded over to him. Tapping him lightly on the nose, she giggled. "Mistakes are just truths mixed around a bit, flakes in a snow globe. Sometimes they float back to where they belong, but nobody really notices."

He blinked at her. "Thank you, River, that was remarkably cryptic."

_Less cryptic than you want to admit_.

He stared at her lips, which hadn't moved. Once again, he decided to ignore that. She giggled again, then turned to look at the doorway.

The doorway which was not as empty as Simon would have liked.

The doorway in which Captain Malcolm Reynolds stood.

River tilted her head, walked over to Mal, and tapped him on the nose. She then giggled once more, and slipped around him and out of the infirmary.

Mal stared after her, then turned to look at Simon.

Simon stared back, eyes wide. "C—Captain?"

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about, without everyone else around."

If his heart beat any faster, Simon was sure he would go into cardiac arrest. And then who could help the doctor?

"I've—I've said some things that I shouldn't have said. And I said them because—and I don't often admit this, so tell anyone and you're a dead man—I was scared. But I need to tell you how I really feel about—"

Simon closed his eyes. It would be hard saying this, but he couldn't take the tension any longer. "I know what you're going to tell me."

"You do?"

"You're in love with me." He heard a sharp intake of breath, but he continued, not opening his eyes. "That's why Inara's leaving; she's in love with you and can't stand to be near you when you love someone else. That's why Kaylee's upset; that's why the rest of the crew are stepping on eggshells when trying to talk to me, and can't finish their gorramn sentences. And I'm sorry, Mal, but I don't know if I can—"

A choked sound stopped him. There was no _way_ Captain Malcolm Reynolds was crying. He opened his eyes.

He wasn't crying. He was laughing.

"You... you thought _that_ was what I was going to tell you?" Mal put his face in his hands, guffawing. "Now _that_ is just classic. _Ai ya_..."

Simon's cheeks burned, and he started to wish desperately that the floor would open up, suck him out into the horror that was the empty vacuum of space, anything to save him from the embarrassment he was feeling right now. How the hell had he misread this entire situation?

The captain calmed his laughter to mere chuckles, then became more serious, though he was still smiling, and had an amused gleam in his eye. "No, I just wanted to say I was sorry about the way I talked about your sister. She's erratic, but I guess not all that much more so 'n any of us..." He looked pointedly at Simon, who refused to meet his eyes. "Anyway, she did a gorramn good job today, and even if she was marginally the reason for the trouble, she got us out of it, maybe better than some of my plans." He paused. "Okay, _probably _better than _most _of my plans. Well, except for that part with you gettin' yourself shot."

Simon glared at him, finally feeling his face start to cool down. He really should be accepting this man's apology for what it was—and he knew for a fact that this man didn't apologize very often. "Have you—River's the one you should be—"

"Already told her. Though I'm almost positive she already knew. That girl is, well, she's right strange—but she's welcome here. Whatever the rest of the crew says, she's stayin' till you and she decide to leave."

Simon was now feeling entirely sobered. "Thank you, Cap—Mal. You have no idea what that means to me."

The captain gave a half smile, then turned to leave. At the door, he paused. "And... you weren't entirely wrong about what you said earlier."

The doctor's jaw dropped, as Mal looked back and winked—_winked!_—at him.

Then Simon was left alone once more.

He stared at the doorway, eyes wide, mouth open, heart racing, and mind flat out giving up on comprehending the outside world.

The End


End file.
